Purpose and Fulfillment

"I must not just live my life; I will not just spend my life. I will invest in my life." Helen Keller

"Our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others." Henri J.M. Nouwen


Many of us had dreams when we were little. BIG dreams. Extraordinary dreams. Astronauts, Engineers, Teachers, President of the United States (or First Lady if you're lucky ;) ), etc. Big dreams we just knew we could do, dreams we knew we could achieve. As life progresses oftentimes these dreams take a different path. Circumstances in life may make you feel like you can't achieve your dreams. But if you could do it all over again, if you could be given that second chance at life, what would you do? Little things can inspire these dreams you had as a child or big things can inspire them as well. 

I have said this time and time again, but Luke is my inspiration. He was given to me to learn a whole new world, a whole new meaning to life, and he was taken from me to give me the push to dream big again. 

When I was little I always thought I would be a teacher or a nurse. I would always "doctor" or "teach" my stuffed animals. I loved it! Thinking back on some of the things I did are actually quite hilarious. "I'm sorry Merle (my Cabbagepatch doll) you did not pass this test. This is not addition." I am laughing just remembering. Then I would write notes to Merle's mom and pin them on him explaining his terrible grades. Looking back nowI realize those were my first memories of "helping others". Yes it's quite funny to think I was helping dolls and stuffed animals, but a child's imagination is endless if you fuel it. 

I also remember these stray puppies showed up in our yard one day. I instantly fell in love. So I started to "teach" them. I would set these puppies on the railings of my porch and try to teach songs to them. Then the ultimate "boo-boo" happened - one puppy fell off the railing and broke his leg. I immediately felt bad and hurt. I rushed inside and told my mama what had happened. She helped me make a splint out of items in the house (we always had tons since my dad worked at a mobile home manufacturing plant, lol) and with the help of mama we fixed his leg. We then found out they were actually our neighbor's puppies so mama then took them all back over the fence and told the neighbor's what happened. No one got in trouble, I mean it was an accident, but that is a second flag of my need to "help". I had to fix that puppy. He had to be whole again and not broken.

It is funny to write that. That's what I am accomplishing with the help of my wonderful therapist for myself. I am broken. But I want to be whole again. And I will be. And I will be a much better person than I have ever been in my life. 

So as you know, I am neither a nurse nor a teacher. There are reasons: 1- nursing, not so much what I had imagined. I am not calm enough to react in a quick situation correctly, 2 - teaching, again, not so much. I am lacking a great deal of patience, and as I understand that is a definite requirement to teaching. God bless all the medical providers and teachers out there! You make our world a better place.

I have been thinking of these aspirations from childhood a lot lately. I am happy where I am in life, wonderful husband, great family and friends, and a job that I can say I love to get up and go to every single day. I am definitely blessed. But that yearning I had as a child is just too great to ignore. What am I doing in my life that is really fulfilling my need to help others? 

That is why I decided to become heavily involved in the March of Dimes. This is an amazing group. They are saving our lives, not just our children, but our parents as well. This is where I can satisfy that craving to help others, and if it had not been for Luke, I would never know this was my calling. Here is my purpose, here is my passion. This is what I was meant to do. Do everything I can to help others who do, unfortunately, go through what Scott and I did and to be a pillar of support for those who feel they have no hope when times are the darkest. I know that feeling. I have been there way more times than I would have preferred. I have persevered. Am I 100% back to me? No and in all reality I never will be. But the new me can be a host for support and inspiration. I don't plan on stopping after March for Babies. I will continue to be an advocate for March of Dimes. I will continue to prove that there is life after a tragedy, it just takes time - and of course a little support from someone who knows exactly how you feel.

With that being said, please think about donating or even being there for support at March for Babies. Everything counts. There is truly no deed too small for this organization. If you are reading this and you would like more information about Luke's walk, please visit the website below to become involved. It is well worth your time. 

      http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t2040652
     

With that being said, I thank you all for being so supportive. I thank you all for caring. I most importantly thank God for putting each one of you in my life. 

Melissa