Windfall

"May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours." - An old Irish blessing

I love this blessing. Not only because my husband is of Irish descent, but also because it says so much of such a loving and giving culture. I have been thinking of Luke a lot lately. Tuesday was his due date and although it was sad to a degree, it was also a happy day. I spent most of the day reliving those terrifying but joyful days when Luke was born. I thought of the first time I saw him and our first touch. I thought of the first time I held him and he gazed into my eyes. These memories I will cherish forever. I also thought of the dark day he was taken from us. I felt the despair all over again. But instead of crying, I remembered the peaceful look he had on his face as I held him. And I smiled and thanked God He gave me the most precious moments of my life in the 38 days Luke was here. 

I pray every morning and night for sweet Mercy. I think of her often and I imagine what her precious parents are going through right now. It is so unfair, but yet so beautiful as well. They have their miracle with them. They are making the same memories I cherish so much. I know the fear of the unknown that Mercy's family is experiencing. But I have all of the confidence in the world when I say this precious fighter will be just fine. She's spunky - I like to think she's much like her Auntie. I can't help but think of my sweet Luke when I watch the videos of Mercy and look at her photos. I keep my hope alive and I keep it alive for sweet babies like Mercy - so that they live and prosper and one day grow to do great things themselves. Maybe one day Mercy will grow to be a nurse or doctor and she will take care of preemies like she's being taken care of now. 

I know the reality of these situations are sometimes overwhelming. Every baby has their own story. My brother in law gave me the link to another baby's story - but this baby's story hurts me deeply. Aaron was born with a rare liver disease that caused liver failure at birth. He's fighting. To be such a small being he is doing mighty things. Much like Mercy and Luke. He's fighting to live. He did get a transplant but unfortunately the results were not what was anticipated. His body rejected the organ. He's on the list again for a second transplant. Pray for him. Pray for his family. 

While reading the journal Aaron's parents write I read his transplant entry. It brought me to tears. I wept for the heartache but I also wept with admiration at something his parent's wrote. They asked that we not forget the family that donated the liver to their son. A family that lost their infant. It made me think - during a time like that - how wonderful they must be that they actually took time to ask that everyone pray for this family. It gives me hope for mankind. The selflessness of Aaron's family to ask for prayer for this family and the selflessness of this family to donate during their darkest time to save another infant. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it. 

Over the past few months I have developed an amazing bond with an amazing woman. She too experienced loss - she lost her daughter 5 years ago. Brelyn passed in February so this time of the year is extremely difficult for Kayla and Justain, Brelyn's mom and dad. I talked with Kayla today because she was really down. Even though I have an amazing support system, sometimes it's nice to just talk to someone who KNOWS. Someone who has been there and feels what you feel. After talking with Kayla I started thinking ... I am part of something amazing. Losing Luke was not amazing, but having him was. I realized that even though we may not feel strong we absolutely are. I almost feel like we are part of a special club. I hope and pray no one ever has to go through what we have been through, but I say that meaning the bonds and the solidarity you feel with another person who has been through what you have makes you realize that life is going to be okay. Whatever the outcome may be for you - it is what is meant to be. And each stepping stone in life, whether it is a pebble or a boulder, only makes you stronger in the end. 

I leave asking that you pray for not only Mercy and Aaron and every baby fighting for their life, but also pray for their parents and family. They too need comfort for the road they are on. It's not always easy and sometimes your bad days will outweigh your good, but with a little help from others you can face any challenge the day may bring. 

"May the wind take your troubles away." - SonVolt 

Mercy Me, Mercy My

“For children are innocent and love justice, while most of us are wicked and naturally prefer mercy.” 

It has been a while since I have written. Life suddenly returned to "normal" for whatever that mens. Full time at work and school also is very time consuming and I am so ready for it to be over with, lol! 

Spent some time with my sister on her birthday and it was very enjoyable. Had a wonderful time with the kids, they are all growing so big and they are the lights of my life. 

My heart has been heavy for a few weeks now. My friend's sister developed a very rare and semi-recent liver condition during her first pregnancy. She had just went 1/2 way into the second trimester. the doctors rallied and pretty much decided that they would need to take the baby early - but no earlier than 36 weeks. So we played the waiting game until she had to be admitted yesterday mid-morning because her blood pressure was sorta high. She delivered Mercy around lunchtime and she is absolutely perfect in every way possible. She was 2lbs 5oz, 15 1/2 inches. She is a firecracker based on the videos her Auntie sends to me. Precious Mercy is here so continue to life her in love and prayers! 

It has been very bittersweet to be so involved in Mercy's arrival and status. I know with all of my heart she will be just fine and grow up so pretty and strong and smart, no doubt. It makes me so incredibly happy to know in my heart she is going to be okay. But it also makes me sad a little, not because of Mercy herself ( I think she's doing fantastic!) just reminds me that Luke was there for so long and he wouldn't have even been home by now. It is depressing to think of it really. I heard the monitor beeps in the videos and I got sweaty palms. I saw her pictures with all of her leads and IV's and I just broke down into tears over it. 

Premature labor / preterm labor is a very serious and I don't believe it is promoted enough. Thank God for organizations like the March of Dimes..... you will have a new perspective!! So always remember to donate!!